As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
