I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
