I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
