I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
