I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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