I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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