i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
