i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
