im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
