i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
