So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
