my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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