Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
