Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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