Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
