i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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