Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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