Grow some girl-balls and come out already
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
