I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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