Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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