As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
