How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
