You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Acid is not a monday night drug
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Randomize
