the new term for farting is butt boxing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
