Me. At least after what I've been through.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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