Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
