I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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