you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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