so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you had me at cake vodka
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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