Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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