I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
