dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
