Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
