It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
