I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
