Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
