Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
