He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
