I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
