The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
