we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
they're like a gay fantastic four
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
