Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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