it was like eating out sand paper
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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