The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
