I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
