there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sarcasm needs its own font
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
