Moan for me like Helen Keller
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
