when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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