If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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