Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry about my life...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
